6 months married--what's different?

Here we are, six months into marriage. Besides the new bling and the last name, what’s really changed?

Before I dive into what’s actually changed in our relationship I have one thing to disclose: we lived together before we got married, so the big change that a lot of couples go through with marriage had already happened to us. I wasn’t surprised that Dylan leaves his dirty clothes right next to the laundry basket or that he always leaves a few dirty dishes by the sink when he claims he did all the dishes. Just like he wasn’t surprised that the bathroom is always covered in hair and bobby pins or that it takes me years to fold clothes and they sit on the couch until we have company. Basically what I’m saying is that living together after marriage wasn’t a big change for us.

After the cloud nine honeymoon we had we came back to our new reality, marriage. The best new reality. Besides the hell I went through changing my last name everywhere (seriously, it’s awful, but I suppose it’s worth it) these last six months have been the best of my life—so far.

Communication, one of our favorite wedding presents we received was from my maid of honor, Danielle. She got us a marriage journal called The Navigator’s Council. Dylan was on the fence when we started it but now journal day is one of our favorite days of the week. I can’t recommend this book to enough couples—it’s totally changed the way we communicate.

Our communication before marriage wasn’t bad by any means, we had a very healthy relationship—hence the getting married. There’s something about what this book has taught us though. If we have anything to say to each other we can just say it, but more importantly we’ve learned how to say it in a healthy way. If I was someone reading this right now that has never done, or heard of, The Navigator’s Council I would think that this writer is absolutely stupid and just in the honeymoon phase of marriage. Maybe you do think that? This book has taught us more about each other than anything else has though, so I say spend the $25 and give it a shot—what do you have to lose?

Money, oooh this is a good one. Before we were married we were 50/50 on everything. As long as the bills were paid we didn’t care what the other did with their money. I mean to an extent—neither of us would want the other to completely blow our money on something stupid.

Now that we’re married it’s a little different. No, neither of us have to ask permission from the other if we want to spend some money but we work it as a team now. We plan our financial goals together now and budget accordingly—together.

It was a transition, not because we don’t trust each other or anything but because when it comes to money and you’re already used to one way you have to find your groove for another way. Six months in and we’ve found our groove.

Parenthood? What? No, we’re not parents and no we aren’t expecting to be anytime soon but dang since we put a ring on it it’s been a hot conversation. When you’re dating it’s always a “when we have kids we’ll do this,” or “how many kids do you want?” conversations that really aren’t ever going to lead to anything, or at least you don’t really see it as a reality yet. Now that we’re married we have pretty serious and real conversations about it and it’s really weird, but it’s also kind of exciting. One day we will (God willing) be parents and it’s really never felt more real that one day we’ll have little Peasleys running around. It’s also terrifying.

Other People, when getting married, as with many things, you have a lot of support but you also have a lot of push. That push will never go away, but neither will the support. Something that we’ve learned is that everyone else’s opinions on us and on our relationship (and really about anything) has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. People who are in happy relationships tend to be happy for you, while people who aren’t happy in their relationships tend to cut yours down.

It can be really discouraging when people are constantly telling you that “the honeymoon phase will end” or “it always starts out happy,” and it’s not like we ever really believed what they were saying but sometimes it can get you down. The best thing we’ve learned together is what I’ve already mentioned, other people’s opinions usually have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. So who cares.

There you have it, six months in and this is what’s different. So far this marriage thing has been the best decision I’ve ever made. I can’t wait to see what’s up next in our lives.

all photos are courtesy of the most wonderful wedding photographer: geneoh.